WORLDS THAT NEVER WERE

I received this e-mail yesterday from a copy editor at a local Raleigh newspaper:
“I am working on a story for The News & Observer and am looking to interview folks in the community. I found your name, quite serendipitously, associated with a writer’s group. … This is for a story in our Q section. … “

This was the second time in the last month that I’ve been contacted to do an interview about my writing. I will be interviewed for the Raleigh Television Network’s “The Artist’s Craft” segment in November.

Does anyone really want to hear about my writing? I feel about these interviews the same way I felt the first time a high school student asked me to mentor her writing project. I wonder if I have enough experience as a writer to be effective. I have not yet finished the final draft of my first young adult novel and am far from having a successful writing career. I have had some success with educational pieces, but so far my fiction has not taken off. If I was looking for someone to interview about their writing, I would not choose me.

And then I happened upon JA Konrath’s blog. He said:
“Throughout the course of a career, a writer reaches many milestones. These milestones have a certain order, more or less, and each time one is reached is a cause for celebration.”

I realized that I have reached several of those writing milestones, I didn’t realize how many, and am ecstatically happy for accomplishing them. They include:

Finishing the first draft of my first novel. The end. Two little words that gave me such a feeling of acomplishment. My first novel was a rather abysmal story of a woman with multiple personalities titled Within. The writing was awful. I forced friends and family to read it. I’m so sorry for that. I made the rookie mistake of writing an autobiograghical piece and then stuck in the multiple personality to make it fiction. It didn’t work. Thank goodness I’ve moved on.

Sending out my first query letter. Unfortunately it was for Within, so I also received my first rejection form letter. Both gave me a sense of pride. I had tried.

Receiving my first acceptance e-mail from the editor of an educational magazine. This was for Attention Defecit Hyperactive Disorder… A Teacher’s Perspective. The editor said it was too long. I think the original version was over 3,000 words. I trimmed it down to half and sent it back to the editor. (Thank you for the advice Harry). He liked it and printed the cut version. Cutting that article was my first lesson in becoming successful as a writer. I hating sacrificing part of my baby.

Seeing my first nonfiction piece in print. Again, this was the ADHD article. Actually seeing my work in print. How awesome! (Even after the piece came out in Education Today magazine, I still had parents of my students bringing me articles and Web sites to help me “learn” about ADHD. But that is another post).

Selling my first short story to an E-zine. The first time I was actually paid for my fiction, and saw my name in print, I literally jumped for joy. Peculiar Advice, about the difference one teacher made and why, is my first published story. This is not my best story, and frankly, I was shocked it published. But it came from my heart.

Holding the first print magazine containing a piece of my fiction in my hands. This was my most exciting moment. Seeing my fiction on the printed page for the first time will always be my greatest thrill. This was To Live Again, my favorite and my first. Although Peculiar Advice was published first, To Live Again was written first. I’ll admit it is not my best, but I wrote and rewrote this heartfelt story of a woman who learns to take charge of her life through the love of her dog.

The first Web page I published and the first blog entry I posted. Both developing my Web site and blogging have helped me practice writing and build confidence to put my work out there.

So, I can see that my sacrifices and plain old hard work have paid off with some success. Hopefully, there are other milestones ahead like these:

Finishing my first young adult novel. The end. I can’t wait to write those two little words. I’ve sent the last three chapters to my writing group to critique. I’m darn close.

Getting an agent. It’s so hard to find an agent, especially a good one. I’m ready for the challenge of finding one. I’m realistic and willing to put forth the effort to find the right one.

Landing my first book deal. This is perhaps the biggest milestone of all. I look forward to it with all my heart. Wish me luck.

In the meantime, open a bottle of your favorite wine, or crack a beer, and toast the accomplishments of writers — and their families — only they truly understand obsession with the written word.

My writing is diverse, which is another way of saying that I’ll write anything. My strength seems to be writing for and about children, although my heart is in psychological and medical thrillers for adults, simply because I love reading them so much. Give me a day with Tess Gerritsen, James Patterson, David Baldacci or Diane Chamberlain, and I’m a happy woman. I am currently reading the Kathy Reichs series that the TV show Bones is based on.

I digress. In combination with working on my young adult novel, I’ve been writing short stories for adults just to be able to have the satisfaction of completing a shorter term piece while finishing the novel. After reading two of my stories, one of the women in my writing critique group noticed that in both Remission, my first attempt at a medical story, and Mulberry Tree, which parallel’s a teacher’s personal and professional helplessness, that my writing was strongest in the scenes involving children. This gives me pause. Should I be concentrating my writing for children.

While I am pleased with my recent progress on my young adult novel that I’ve renamed High Treason, I really wanted my next book to be an thriller for adults. I’ve enjoyed researching 1775 Boston, the setting for the later half of the YA novel. It has been fun writing about the world of colonial America. But writing for children requires a different mind set than writing for adults. In writing from the view point of a twelve year old, vocabulary, parents and the young psyche have to be considered. Yet, it seems that is where my strength lies.

I have had the most success in publishing educational articles, not fiction, which again, gives me further pause. I am passionate about educating and advocating for children and it comes through in my writing. This is a good place for a shameless plug.

What tools should teachers carry in their survival kits?
Find out in my article Methods for success as a middle school science teacher, that has just published in the September issue of Science Scope Magazine. Unfortunately, if you’re not a member of NSTA, you won’t be able to read the article Online.

As an aside:
There has been a long drought here in North Carolina and we’ve broken some records for high temperatures over the last couple of weeks. As a respite from the heat, I’ve had the opportunity to sip chilled white wine, courtesy of my husband, who writes a monthly wine column Ten Dollar Tastings with Harry Calhoun. Kumkani wine has just sent him a half case of wine to taste, and I’m looking forward to contributing my insights.

This arrest must have been as easy as pi.

NEW YORK –
A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

“Al-gebra is a problem for us,” Gonzales said. “They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like ‘x’ and ‘y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns’, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, ‘There are 3 sides to every triangle’.”

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.”

White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the president.

This hilarious E-mail was sent to me by a coworker. You don’t have to be a math teacher or a nerd to enjoy this. I don’t know the source. If anyone does, let me know. I poked around Online and found it in numerous blogs and Web sites, one of which is in Colophon from 2004, under “Made Up Stuph” by Stephen Samuel.

The answer may surprise you.

Tess Gerritsen, one of my favorite thriller writers, has this to say:

Do you have to be smart to write fiction?

Recently I was asked to contribute my thoughts about this topic, for an upcoming book about creativity and intelligence. And I’ve come to the conclusion that the answer is no, you don’t have to be smart – not if by “smart”, you’re referring to the sort of intelligence that’s usually measured by IQ tests. I know a number of doctors and engineers. These are classicaly “smart” people – the straight-A crowd who dazzled their classmates in college and graduate school. They’d probably ace a Mensa qualifying exam. They excel in logic, they’re up on current events, and they know all the nuances of grammar. They know how to spell. Every so often, one of them will write a novel, and beg that I take a peek at their first chapter.

Most of these people can’t write worth beans.

What is about writing fiction that’s beyond these brilliant people? How does it happen that a high-school drop-out can write a bestselling novel, while a PhD can’t even write an interesting query letter?

If anything, it’s been my impression that people who are highly educated in the sciences have a disadvantage when it comes to fiction.” Read entire blog.

Gerritsen touched on several issues involving our perception of intelligence in these first paragraphs.

What is intelligence?
Intelligence is hard to define because there is no universally accepted definition of intelligence, and people continue to debate what exactly intelligence is. According to Encarta, many words in the English language distinguish between different levels of intellectual skill: bright, dull, smart, stupid, clever, slow, and so on.

Intelligence is what intelligence tests measure. Could we find a more circular definition? Intelligence tests are used to verify the existence of intelligence, which in turn is measurable by the tests. Second, many different intelligence tests exist, and they do not all measure the same thing. Finally, the definition says very little about the specific nature of intelligence.

It is easier to define what intelligence is not. Intelligence is not the amount of information that people know, which is a common misconception. The ability to memorize facts does not mean that you are smart.

In the early 1900s, Spearman observed positive correlations among performance in different mental tasks and suggested that these correlations could be explained by a single general factor, the ability to deal with complexity.

Nearly a century later an article in the Wall Street Journal proposed this definition of intelligence: “Intelligence is a very general mental capability that … involves the ability to reason, plan, solve problems, think abstractly, comprehend complex ideas, learn quickly, and learn from experience.

Thus, intelligence is not merely memorizing facts, a narrow academic skill. Rather, it reflects a broader and deeper capability for comprehending our surroundings — catching on, making sense of things, or figuring out what to do. I call this skill “with-it-ness.”

As a sidebar:
“Are you Smarter than a Fifth Grader” does not test intelligence, or with-it-ness. The contestants are asked recall questions that do nothing more than test what they know, not their cognitive ability to reason, plan, solve problems, think abstractly, comprehend complex ideas, or learn quickly.

People who are truly cognitively gifted are not people who memorized well and know information. Conversely, such cognitively gifted people have rich, advanced vocabularies and are able to think creatively — outside the box. They do not necessarily do well on routine tasks but can produce amazing projects.

It follows that what we mean by intelligence is general cognitive functioning as assessed from a battery of cognitive ability tests. But, what cognitive ability should those tests measure?

In a 1983 publication called “Frames of Mind,” Psychologist Howard Gardner created seven types of individual strengths to help teachers and students understand the strengths of individuals:

1. Verbal – the ability to use words

2. Visual – the ability to imagine things in your mind

3. Physical – the ability to use your body in various situations

4. Musical - the ability to use and understand music

5. Mathematical – the ability to apply logic to systems and numbers

6. Introspective – the ability to understand your inner thoughts

7. Interpersonal – the ability to understand other people, and relate well to them

In other sources, there may be nine different types of intelligence. The other two that are not included on the list above are:

Naturalist Intelligence “Nature Smart” – Sensitive to living things. (Gardner added this to his original list of seven years later).

Existential Intelligence – the ability to tackle deep questions about human existence such as the meaning of life, how did we get here, and what happens when we die.

How is intelligence measured?
IQ stands for intelligence quotient. It is a score that tells one how intelligent a person is compared to other people over all of the different types of intelligences. The quotient does not separate out the different types of intelligences. It is also a measure of how well a person will do on similar tests. Seen from this perspective, the college degree is not a credential but an indirect measure of intelligence.

The average IQ is by definition 100. Scores above 100 indicate a higher than average IQ and scores below 100 indicate a lower that average IQ. Half of the population have IQ’s of between 90 and 110, while 25% have higher IQ’s and 25% have lower IQ’s.

Is there a correlation between occupation and Intelligence?
Yes. The IQ gives a good indication of the occupational group that a person will end pursue.

Listed are typical IQ ranges for various occupations:
Medical occupations with MD or equivalent: 105-135
College professors: 95-135
Legal occupations: 98-135
Natural science: physical, life, and math: 92-135
High school teachers: 92-125
Creative occupations: 90-125
Finance, insurance, real estate: 88-128
Clerical: 82-112
Mechanics: auto and other: 75-115
Truck drivers: 76-98
Janitors: 73-112

A more complete list of occupational groups ranked by IQ can be found at: http://www.ssc.wisc.edu/cde/cdewp/98-07.pdf

Since the IQ ranges above do not take into account multiple intelligences, it would be better to look at the types of intelligences that drive certain occupations. I found the following descriptions at: http://www.personal.psu.edu/staff/b/x/bxb11/MI/MITypes.htm

Multiple Intelligences Types

Verbal-linguistic learners have highly developed auditory skills, enjoy reading and writing, like to play word games, and have a good memory for names, dates, and places. They like to tell stories, and get their point across. You learn best by saying and hearing words. Poets, writers, and people who speak a great deal in their jobs (like teachers) probably have a high degree of verbal-linguistic intelligence.

Musical-rhythmic learners are sensitive to the sounds in their environment, including the inflections in the human voice. They enjoy music, and may listen to music when they study or read. They are skilled at pitch and rhythm. Learning through melody and music works well for people with high musical-rhythmic intelligence. Singers, conductors, and composers obviously have a high musical-rhythmic intelligence. Anyone who enjoys, understands, and uses various elements of music probably has a high degree of musical-rhythmic intelligence.

Logical-mathematical intelligence is often linked with the term “scientific thinking.” Logical-mathematical people like to explore patterns and relationships, like to experiment with things you don’t understand, ask questions, and enjoy well-ordered tasks. They like to work with numbers and relish opportunities to solve problems via logical reasoning. They learn best by classifying information, using abstract thought, and looking for common basic principles and patterns. Many scientists have a high degree of logical-mathematical intelligence.

Visual-spatial people work well maps, charts, diagrams, and visual arts in general. They are able to visualize clear mental images. They like to design and create things. They learn best by looking at pictures and watching videos. Sculptors, painters, architects, surgeons, and engineers are a few professions that require people with well-developed visual-spatial abilities.

Bodily-kinesthetic learners use bodily sensations to gather information. They have good balance and coordination and are good with their hands. Learning activities that provide physical activities and hands-on learning experiences work well for them. People with highly developed bodily-kinesthetic abilities include carpenters, mechanics, dancers, gymnasts, swimmers, and jugglers.

Intrapersonal learners are aware of their own strengths, weaknesses, and feelings. They are aware of self, being a creative and independent, and reflective thinker. They usually possess independence, self-confidence, determination, and high motivation. They may respond with strong opinions when controversial topics are discussed. They learn best by engaging in independent study projects rather than working on group projects. Pacing their own instruction is important to them. Entrepreneurs, philosophers, and psychologists are a few professions where strong intrapersonal skills are a benefit.

Interpersonal learners are “people-persons.” They enjoy being around people, like talking to people, have many friends, and engage in social activities. They can develop genuine empathy for the feelings of others. They learn best by relating, sharing, and participating in cooperative group environments. The best salespeople, consultants, community organizers, counselors, and teachers have a high interpersonal intelligence.

Naturalist. The so-called “Eighth” Intelligence, Naturalistic learners are in touch with nature - the outdoors in terms of geography, animals, conservation, etc. They sense patterns and are good a categorization. They are also good planners and organizers of living areas. Naturalistic learners learn best studying natural phenomenon in natural settings, learning about how things work. They may express interest in biology, zoology, botany, geology, meteorology, paleontology, or astronomy - fields directly connected to some aspect of nature.

Information in this blog was modified from:
http://tessgerritsen.com/blog/2006/09/05/do-you-have-to-be-smart-to-write-fiction/
http://encarta.msn.com/encyclopedia_761570026/Intelligence.html
http://gsmweb.udallas.edu/iep/immweb/seven_intel.html
http://www.ssc.wisc.edu/cde/cdewp/98-07.pdf
http://www.personal.psu.edu/staff/b/x/bxb11/MI/MITypes.htm
http://www.iqcomparisonsite.com/Occupations.aspx
http://iq-test.learninginfo.org/iq04.htm
http://jobsadvice.guardian.co.uk/tests/story/0,,1181166,00.html
http://www.macalester.edu/psychology/whathap/ubnrp/intelligence05/Mtypes.html

E-mail has now become the source of urban legends and myths. And the senders are not spammers, they are naive friends and family with good intentions. But my e-mail inbox is filling up, like a colony of E. coli on room temperature Canadian beef, (see below) and I’m not laughing.

I received a joke e-mail from a coworker Friday listing “excerpts of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.” Although these analogies read like the laugh-out-loud writing of some of my former middle students, I began to doubt that these were actually from high school essays when I could find no reference or source in the e-mail. So I searched on Google and found the exact text of the e-mail cited as early as 2003 on several Web sites. Further searching revealed that high school students did not write these analogies. Instead, about half of them appeared in a 1999 Washington Post Style Invitational contest, where they asked readers to submit items in the style of bad student essays.

These analogies are quite a funny collection of sentences and remind me of the fun I had reading my students’ unintentionally funny answers to worksheets and tests. So does it matter that high school students didn’t write them? Probably not any more than maggots in hot grease. (See below).

But then this morning I received a group e-mail from my aunt. She prefaced the text with, “… will our citizenry ever stop being negative when we have so much to be thankful about. Complainers ought to be shipped to live in a Godless society …”

JAY LENO SPEAKS OUT
The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the source, right?
The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with the performance of the president. In essence 2/3s of the citizenry just ain’t happy and want a change.

This is from an e-mailed article that has been circulating since March, 2007, titled “Jay Leno Hits the Nail on the Head.” The article falsely attributes Tonight Show host Jay Leno as the author of the article that labels the majority of Americans ‘ungrateful, spoiled brats’ for saying they’re unhappy with the current direction of the country. Apart from uttering the words that inspired the final paragraph of this text, Tonight Show host Jay Leno had nothing whatsoever to do with its authorship. The original was written by columnist Craig R. Smith and published in November 2006 on WorldNetDaily.com under the title “Made in the U.S.A.: Spoiled Brats.” Read more.

So do I embarrass my aunt by telling her that the heartfelt e-mail that she sent to family and friends is bogus? Or do I simply delete the group e-mail and do nothing? It is only a harmless joke, right. Jay Leno is used to criticism. His skin is thick, right? Thick as, like, whatever. (See below).

Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year’s winners:

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River .

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

I read this cover story on neatoday. I think it is a fitting followup to my previous post on NCLB.

Testing:
How the Sausage is Made
By Alain Jehlen

How do standards become test scores?

What do ‘proficient’ and ‘grade level’ really mean?

How are high-stakes tests dumbing down education?

These aren’t questions you’ll see on any test, but the answers might surprise you.

Little Jimmy opens his test booklet and reads:

What number goes in the box to make this number sentence true?
11 – ? = 2

Your whole year’s work has come down to this. If he gets the right answer, your school is on its way to the modern Holy Grail: Adequate Yearly Progress. If not, you’re a failure. Read entire story.

And now to the point of this entry. Computers are rating millions of essays per year in thousands of school districts. What happens when you take the human element out of test scoring. See below.

The Chimp, the Chump, and You
Can a dumb machine help students write smart essays?
“It is with chimpanzee greatest esteem and confidence that I write to support Risk of physical injury Employers as a candidate for a faculty position. I have known Risk of physical injury in a variety of capacities for more than five years, and I find him to be one of chimpanzee most eloquent, hard-working and talented students to have graduated with a UC Davis PhD in English. …” Read the perfectly scored chimp essay.

Thus began an “essay” cooked up by University of California-Davis writing instructor Andy Jones, which earned a stellar 6 out of 6 rating from the Educational Testing Service (ETS). Not from a reader, but from software called Criterion, a leader in the field of computerized essay scoring.

UC-Davis was considering using Criterion to decide which students should be allowed to skip a writing course, and Jones thought that was a bad idea. So he took a letter of recommendation he had written, replaced the student’s name with a few words from a Criterion writing prompt, and substituted “chimpanzee” for every “the.” Criterion loved the result, calling it “cogent” and “well-articulated.” Read entire story.

So there you have it folks. The sausage on testing. May we leave no monkey behind.

Renewal of the oft-criticized No Child Left Behind federal law is supported by the nation’s governors, but they want far more authority to carry out its mandates.
That’s the crux of recommendations the National Governors Association (NGA) sent to Congress Thursday as that body considers what the second iteration of the five-year-old law should look like.

“The governors’ voices when No Child Left Behind was initially written were not present,” said Washington Gov. Christine Gregoire (D), co-chair of the NGA’s lobbying effort, in a conference call Thursday. But now “the states believe that it’s very important that the governors have a voice on this because we truly have a unique view about how this piece of legislation can be implemented.”

The governors aren’t alone. Their recommendations were jointly released with two other state groups: the Council of Chief State School Officers and the National Association of State Boards of Education. Read entire Story.

One of the key requirements of the landmark federal education law No Child Left Behind Act of 2001 (NCLB) is that ALL students tested in reading and math will reach grade level by 2014. I will repeat, “ALL students.” It follows that if even one student has a bad day on testing day, according to NCLB, we have failed. Picture a heartbroken middle school child whose pet dog of twelve years had to be humanely euthanized the day before. Will he score well on the test? Or a troubled elementary school student whose parents are divorcing. Then there’s the normal adolescent break ups and crisis. Wearing the wrong outfit or hair style to school on test day can interfere with performance. And we haven’t begun to discuss the exceptional child whose learning disability or attention deficit disorder will keep them from scoring on grade level.

Critics of NCLB, including some teachers unions and many testing experts, view the law as a forced march toward an impossible education nirvana. They are lobbying Congress to reduce the 100 percent target and delay the 2014 deadline. They are also pushing for the elimination of sanctions that school systems face for failing to make yearly progress toward the goal.
NCLB expires in 2007, and to continue, must be reauthorized by Congress. Even when the law was enacted five years ago, almost no one believed that standard was realistic. But now, as Congress begins to debate renewing the law, lawmakers and education officials are confronting the reality of the approaching deadline.

“There is a zero percent chance that we will ever reach a 100 percent target,” said Robert L. Linn, co-director of the National Center for Research on Evaluation, Standards and Student Testing at UCLA. “But because the title of the law is so rhetorically brilliant, politicians are afraid to change this completely unrealistic standard. They don’t want to be accused of leaving some children behind.”

Sen. Lamar Alexander (R-Tenn.), a former U.S. education secretary and supporter of the law, said Americans don’t want politicians to lower standards. “Are we going to rewrite the Declaration of Independence and say only 85 percent of men are created equal?” Alexander asked. “Most of our politics in America is about the disappointment of not meeting the high goals we set for ourselves.”

Foes and supporters alike praise the law for drawing attention to student achievement gaps. The law requires testing for all students in reading and math from grades 3 through 8, and science starting this school year, and once more in high school; it also requires reporting of scores for groups of students including racial and ethnic minorities, those from low-income families, those with limited English skills and those with disabilities who receive special education.

Why do the governor’s want a voice? To answer that, we have to answer another question: Who establishes the academic standards for all students, and then tests them to see how well they’re learning the standards? Why, the states do. No wonder the governors want to be heard.

If NCLB is renewed, I’ll have instant job security. As a science researcher at a company that develops and scores educational tests, NCLB will ensure that I have enough work to keep me busy indefinitely. Perhaps the jobs created from developing state reading, math and science tests will boost the economy.

Sidebar:
The parodies below take a humorous look at NCLB, but in doing so bring forward the impossible task outlined by the much criticized law.

No Dentist Left Behind
John Taylor, retired superintendent of schools in Lancaster, S.C., offers this history of the above essay which he wrote while leading that district:

The parody was originally titled ‘Absolutely the Best Dentists.’ It was written and sent to every newspaper and legislator in South Carolina a number of years ago in an attempt to point out the absurdities inherent in South Carolina’s then new accountability act which was focused on ‘absolute’ performance and threatened retention for every child who couldn’t meet very challenging grade level standards. (Not to mention severe penalties for ‘poorly performing’ schools, teachers ands administrators.) Since then it has traveled widely to the point that I have not been able to keep up with the uses; but I know it has appeared in teacher association publications in at least three Canadian Provinces and in Australia, as well as dozens in the USA. The No Child Left Behind Act seems to have given the story a new life.

Football Version

Mis-Education President:

Information from this blog comes from:
Govs call for more control over NCLB

High-profile report calls for new NCLB

‘No Child’ Target Is Called Out of Reach

Pros & Cons of the No Child Left Behind Act

St. Baldricks for Childhood Cancer Research

“How much would you donate to see a teacher shave their head bald to find cures for childhood cancer?” Ligon GT Magnet Middle School, where I taught last year, has four teachers involved with the St. Baldrick’s Foundation this year: Doug Fogg, Lester Francis, David Gaudet, and N. Edmond Jones. They have formed a team known as TACKLE (Teachers Against Cancer Killing Little Educatees) and are in the midst of a “penny war” to see who will get their head shaved in school this coming Friday. I’m sure students are excited about seeing one of their teacher’s heads shaved bald.

If you’d like to help this worthy cause or just see a Raleigh teacher get their head shaved, you can donate to the team online at: www.stbaldricks.org. The team and school has totals listed on the website. If you go to the website, click on “Find a Participant,” select “Team,” and then type “TACKLE” in the search field it will come up with Ligon’s team website where you can donate right online.

The head shaving event will be at Napper Tandy’s Irish Pub this Saturday from 2pm to 8pm. Click on the Napper Tandy’s Web site: http://nappertandysirishpub.com/raleigh/raleigh.html to view the top teams or to make a donation.

N. Edmon Jones has organized the event at Ligon after getting involved with St. Baldrick last year as a challenge from a classmate of his at NCSU. The St. Baldrick’s Foundation supports childhood cancer research by making grants to hospitals and research groups who work together towards a cure for childhood cancer. The St. Baldrick’s Foundation also supports research fellowships, attracting some of the best and brightest medical doctors to pursue a career in pediatric oncology.

For more information you can contact N. Edmon Jones at Ligon GT Magnet Middle School.
E-mail: njones@wcpss.net

Why is the metric system so hard to learn for many American’s? Because the customary inch-pound (I-P) system of measurement is winning the duel for supremacy.

Imagine that you have just completed a 5 K (kilometer) run and decide to drive to the grocery store to buy a sports drink. You’ll clock your speed in miles per hour, not kilometers per hour. Once at the store, you will be able to choose a 12-ounce can, or the next largest size, a 1/2 liter bottle or maybe a 2 liter bottle. If you decided to treat yourself to fast food instead, you could order a quarter-pound burger and a 32 ounce drink. The customary inch-pound measurement system wins this round. We buy our gasoline in the customary unit of gallons and we measure our houses in the same system’s unit of square feet. Yet we measure the fat and carbohydrates in our food in metric grams, while we order steak in restaurants in customary ounces.

Metric or customary? If you want to buy some alcohol to drink while you contemplate the confusion, you can no longer buy a fifth of Jack Daniels (or any other alcohol) in that unit. A fifth was a unit representing 1/5 of a gallon, or 4/5 of a quart. Now a bottle approximately the same size as the fifth is a 750-milliliter bottle. In the conversion to metric, consumers lost 0.2 ounces because a fifth equals 25.6 oz and 750 mL equals only 25.4 oz.

So, it should have been no surprise to me as a middle school science teacher, to learn that standardized tests scores in the area of measurement were low in my school across grades six to eight — it wasn’t just in North Carolina. Across the nation, measurement continues to be a challenging concept to teach.

Yet, I was shocked. As a science teacher, I think in metric. Measuring with meters, grams and milliliters are second nature to me. What could be easier to learn or more fun? Metric works by powers of tens. There are no clunky conversions that inches to feet or ounces to pounds require. Yet, when I looked at the content that middle school students were required to learn about measurement, compounded by the reality of their daily life, I realized why their scores were low.

Students must learn two measurement systems: the customary and the International System of Units (SI), the international name for the metric system. And they never know which to choose and when. So, I began implementing fun activities to help my students assimilate the information. One of my lessons, The SI System on the Basketball Court, is currently in the February issue of Science Scope, the National Science Teachers Association’s (NSTA) journal for middle school teachers.

You must be a member of NSTA to read the lesson, but the corresponding Background Activity Slide Show on the SI system can be downloaded as a pdf, free for use in classrooms. Click on the link or go to my site to download the slide show: http://www.trinaallen.com/SISystem_basketballcourt.pdf.

Why teach the metric system?
The National Council of Teachers of Mathematics has this on their Web site, “In today’s global environment, metric measurements are prominent in workplaces, consumer products, and news reports. Almost every other country in the world uses the metric system of measurement. The European Union, Japan, and Korea have passed legislation limiting international commerce to products measured in metric units. If the United States is to continue to play a leading role in international business, using metric measurement is imperative and U.S. workers at all levels must be knowledgeable about the Système Internationale (SI), the international name for the metric system.”

By 1900 a total of 35 nations, including the major nations of continental Europe and most of South America, had officially accepted the metric system. If we want to communicate with scientists and engineers around the world, the US will have to learn the metric system of measurement, now called the International System of Units, that was created by the French.

Seven units comprise the metric system: the meter (length), the kilogram (mass), the second (time), the ampere (electric current), the kelvin (temperature), the mole (amount of substance), and the candela (luminous intensity).

There was a strong movement toward the use of the metric system in the US during the 1970-1980. Since then, the SI system has been losing its duel for supremacy over the inch-pound system. Congress has not pushed for a law making the metric system the sole measurement system in the US. However, since the SI system is the sole measurement language of most of the world, the US will have to become a metric nation to measure up in the global arena.

“Wake up and smell the caffeine doughnut” was a recent headline in Raleigh’s News and Observer , with similar stories published nationwide.

Robert Bohannon, a Durham molecular scientist, has developed a way to add caffeine to baked goods without the bitter taste of caffeine. Each piece of pastry is the equivalent of about two cups of coffee. Read entire story.

Do we think caffeinated pastries are a good idea? If not, why are we giving Dr. Bohannon kudos for using his intellect to invent such a harmful product?

“We don’t need caffeine, but it’s become the most widely used drug in the world,” says Jim Lane, a professor of medical psychology at Duke University. As a former middle school teacher, my first thought after learning about caffeinated pastries was concern not only for children that could be exposed unnecessarily to this most widely used drug, but for their teachers. I do not believe that any advocate for children would condone such a product.

I cannot think of a worse idea than exposing our children to a caffeine-sugar buzz. Sugar by itself can cause changes in activity because it enters the bloodstream quickly, producing rapid fluctuations in blood glucose levels leading to increased activity followed by decreased activity. Adding caffeine to such pastries is a prescription for disaster. (Let’s ignore, for now, the fact that high-sugar foods are also foods low in nutrition that lead to obesity).

Imagine you are teaching a class of 30 sixth grade students, who each bring with them their own social and parental pressures. (Remember sixth grade when every social event was a crises). Now, picture several of these walking hormones have each consumed a high-sugar pastry. Their energy level will be high, until it drops about mid morning when you need them to pay attention. Then, further imagine those same students have also consumed the equivalent of two cups of coffee. You won’t be able to capture their attention with any amount of effort. Science equipment and any lesson plan you may have carefully constructed will erupt into chaos. And when their caffeine-sugar buzz wears off, your listless students will have no energy or desire to learn a little science.

It is hard enough to teach. Children already come to class with a variety of different needs and abilities. They have enough insecurities and distractions without adding more. Let’s not add exposure to caffeine to the challenges facing our teachers.

Dr. Bohannon, there is no market for your caffeinated treats that will ever be acceptable in the eyes of this former teacher.